A child, whether a son or a daughter, is a blessing. And one of the many things we do when we become parents is to teach our child the sum total of our own values and experiences in life. So why are we talking about this on Daughter’s Day, you ask? All days are good days, and we’re thankful for our blessings every day. So it strikes me as odd, that, when we celebrate having a child or being a father/mother, every single day, why must we set aside a special date for a Father’s Day or a Mother’s Day or Daughter’s Day? (And is there Son’s Day?)
The short answer is- Patriarchy! Us FMC Moms are anything but patriarchal. But we don’t form a majority. Because the majority is still patriarchal in its mindset.
I’m lucky to have been born and brought up in a forward-thinking and broad-minded family which believes that everyone is equal and patriarchy is so yesterday. In fact, it would be erroneous to call this mentality “broad-minded”, because we truly believe that this thinking should be called “normal-minded”. There should be no other way to think. My brother and I have been brought up as equals and have an equal say on any important matter. And this is nothing to crow about. It is normal. It is how it should be.
But the sad truth is that humans are patriarchal by nature. It is inherently drilled into our systems and it takes effort to attune yourself otherwise. We see it when people have to defend feminism, insisting that it is not about women being more important. It is about not giving importance to any ONE gender. It is about gender equality. It is about both genders respecting each others’ roles and contributing in a household without stereotyping gender roles. So, again, why the special Daughter’s Day? You see, it is meant to educate that part of the unjustly patriarchal society which views females as inferior to males. And what better way to propagate a mindset than to celebrate it? So governments around the world decided to make an acknowledged festival to encourage gender equality and called it ‘Daughter’s Day’. Positive affirmations, positive reinforcement, if you will.
Be that as it may, I’ve always wanted a daughter. The idea of having a son never crossed my mind. When I was pregnant, in the list of baby names shortlisted, the girls’ list ran into pages. And I had just two boy names. Two. My mind would just not be inspired at the thought of a baby boy. Not to say that I think girls are better than boys. My dad, my brother and my husband are great men, great sons and great fathers, equal partners to their respective wives. So even with those great examples of boys, I always wanted a girl. Just the cuteness and sweetness, I tell you! And God has been kind to bless me with a daughter. I am thankful for this blessing every day. If I would wish for something on Daughter’s Day it would be this – I wish more sons were raised like we raise our daughters – to be sensitive, to show love and care for those who matter to us, to be expressive. I feel there is too much pressure on boys to just “be a man” and hold in their feelings. I think it’s about time that we raise our sons and daughters the same way – to respect every gender and to be worthy of respect by every gender.
© 2020 Aanchal Nithin Prakashan All Rights Reserved.
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I wrote this article for First Moms Club. This article was published on September 21, 2019 on their official website – https://firstmomsclub.in.
First Moms Club is India’s leading community of over 1 lakh urban Indian mothers across 60 countries. FMC aims to encourage the women behind the mothers to find emotional, entrepreneurial and social identity.
Link to this article on the First Moms Club website – https://firstmomsclub.in/this-is-why-the-world-celebrates-daughters-day/